I'm Back, have you missed me?

It seems that I've been running nonstop, full tilt, tiger-by-the-tail crazy with deadlines stacked one behind the other since at least last Fall.  I keep telling myself that as soon as I get past "X", (X being the next major deadline), everything will settle back out, and I keep running.  Sound familiar?  I'm guessing I'm not alone in this. 

Earlier this month my folks, who happen to also be some of my very best friends, invited me to tag along on a cruise with them.  Since we live about 1800 miles apart, we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we'd like. I jumped at the chance.  While cringing at another week lost in my schedule, I thought it would be a good opportunity to review what I've been doing and how I might get it to work better as I was definitely approaching burnout.  At least that's how I rationalized it going in.  :)

I hadn't anticipated just how difficult it would be to say goodby to the Internet for the week.  Out in the middle of the ocean, there are no cell towers, nor easy access to Internet, which I knew going in.  What I hadn't realized was just how much I counted on having that access.  Especially as I went into the trip knowing that I was way behind on my sadly neglected blog and my blog reading list. 

Then to top it off, I returned just in time to start jury duty for King County Superior Court, where I ended up in not one, but two jury selection pools.  With the second, I seriously started to think I might end up a juror on a criminal trial that could last several weeks.  Yikes!  All I could think of was my To-Do list, growing longer and longer as I fell farther and farther behind.  Self-guilt and recrimination building that I 'hadn't planned things right'.  That I couldn't do it all. 

Well, I'm not on the jury as the powers-that-be decided to postpone the trial and start again with a new jury pool.  Thank you!  But the vacation and especially the panic attack have told me I need to make some changes.   Since I know that I'm not the only one in this particular boat, I thought I'd share where I'm at. 

Here's what I've come up with:

1) Admit that this is my life.  I am an over-scheduler (do they have a 12-Step program for this?).  I plan for months at a time, starting with the deadlines and working backwards, figuring out timelines for tasks and expected bottlenecks.  But I tend to 'Error on the Side of Enthusiasm' and I've errored quite egregiously of late.  I get excited about an idea and throw it onto the pile.  Surely I can stitch three beaded beads, build a window screen, do the accounting, weed the garden and paint the hallway today?  As long as I keep doing this, my life will never be sane. 

Strategic planning only works so-so when there's simply too much work for one person to accomplish.  

2) Especially as life always throws you loops, good and bad.  Minor construction projects that spiral out of control (like replacing an old oil furnace and discovering the tank has leaked underground and now you have a pollution liability cleanup situation), having to find a new studio space, pneumonia, unexpected (and quite lovely) vacations.  The one thing they all have in common is they wreak havoc on a too-full schedule. 

3) I like to sleep.  Yep.  Sleep is one of my favorite hobbies.  I'm a useless zombie if I try to cut into my sleep schedule for more than a couple days at a time.  Totally useless.  Sleep is good.  I envy those people who can get by with five or so hours of sleep at night.  That's not me.

4) Don't automatically cut all my favorite things.  Just because they're 'fun' doesn't mean they're automatically less important.  Does anyone else do this?  If something's fun, then it's not as important as the not-fun stuff you have to do?  Only works in the short term, if even that. 

4) It's Okay to Say No.  (Or "Maybe Later" for those things I just can't say no to).  I don't know which is harder, saying no to friends or to myself.  I'm not terribly good at saying no.  In fact, I'm pretty awful at it; friends and ideas come to me all bright and shiny and hopeful and well...  You know what happens next.  Then I run behind because there's too much to do, people think I'm a flake and I start hating myself.  So I'm trying to learn to at least say "Maybe Later".  And if it's a really great idea, I write it down on my list for that mystic time in my future when I have time. 

5) It's Okay to Ask for Help. This last is particularly hard for me on several different levels.  'Asking for help = failure'.  Everyone else is too busy too.  Figuring out what could be parceled out. 

I've been giving this last one a lot of thought.  I have the nucleus of an idea here.   One of the things I really want to do is to put together beading kits for my Fancy Fish.  My current stumbling block is simply finding the time to stitch enough samples of the various color-ways so that I can photograph them for my Etsy site.  Especially since with my early fish I didn't give kit-making a single thought and used whatever beads caught my fancy.  Tracking down the same beads is a nightmare.  I know because I've tried.  And I've discovered that many people expect the kits to contain the exact same beads as my samples - close doesn't cut it.  Did I mention I hate disappointing people?  

So, I'm thinking about ways to reach out and ask for help in a way that's fun and hopefully useful for everyone.  Expect to see more about this early next week. 

Since this post is getting way too long, I'll wrap it up for now with a question.   How do you decide what to keep on your plate and what to toss when life gets crazy?

And thank you for sticking with me!  

Focus on Life - Aged Beauty

Aged Beauty: this week's Focus on Life theme.

Much of our furniture falls into that category; 'passed-downs' from my husband's side of the family.  Most have stories that go along with them.  For instance, his grandfather was born in the four poster bed in our guest room.  It was a rope bed with a feather mattress back then.  When we inherited it, we replaced the mattress, I promise!

Then there's our Vita-Nola.  Not a Victrola, but along the same lines.  My husband's great uncle purchased it back around 1917.  In time, the phonograph passed from her uncle, to my husband's grandmother, Lela.  Many years ago, she passed it on to us, confiding that she learned to dance listening to records on this phonograph.  She passed away several years ago, but I can imagine her, dancing along to the big band music.

The records are clay, not vinyl. The entire needle-head mechanism tilts back when not in use.  Since it's not electric, we could listen to 1920s big band music by candle-light when the power goes out in a storm.

Researching it on line, I came across this period advertisement. I love it: "mistress of every mood - a solace, and a joy".  Music truly is both, and so much more.

Speaking of aged beauties, next year will be our home's 100th birthday.  It's a little Craftsman's cottage and I hope to celebrate its centennial with a 1920s style garden party.  Can't you just imagine our trusty Vitanola providing the music for such a bash? 

So there's my story for this week.  It's probably the least artistic of the photos from this series - I'm looking forward to seeing everyone else's contributions.

Focus on Life 13/52 - Having Faith

Starting to unpack into my new studio space

This week was moving day for my art studio. 

Finally!  A part of me cried happily, while the other half wished for a couple more weeks to prepare.  I'm not good at moving!  One of my goals in life is to move as seldom as possible.  I love traveling, hate moving.

Still in my old space, I tried and tried to sort and purge.  Some stuff left, but mostly I organized.  Wednesday I moved into my new, much smaller space.  With everything in boxes, the space was almost completely unnavigable.  In one move, I'd become a hoarder, slipping through the narrow passages between the boxes as I tried to figure out where to start the unpacking process.

It was like one of those tile puzzle games where in order to move one tile you have to shift and slide all its neighbors.  I set my cutting table up in one direction.  Nope, didn't work.  So I decided to rotate it ninety degrees.  An hour later I had rearranged everything else enough to manage the switch.  Good thing there wasn't a fire alarm during that time - I'd buried the door!

When I left Wednesday evening everything sort of fit.  Maybe.  My main work table is still leaning folded against a wall.  I have space either for it, or for my second big shelving unit and the mini-fridge, but not all three.

Could I fit the little fridge somewhere else?  Should I just get rid of it (I don't use it much)?  Which do I need more - the shelving, or the large work table?  Which would make me most productive in this space?  I have fifteen foot ceilings; how high should my other shelf go? (the two shelving units are both modular, so I could scavenge the one to add to the top of the other like playing with tinker toys).  I already have to stand on a step stool to reach the top shelf.  If I only stored light stuff up high, could I bring in a ladder?  But then where would I put the ladder?

Other work kept me from the studio most of yesterday and all of today, but I'll be back there continuing to purge and sort and play real-life Tetrus tomorrow. I keep reminding myself what a wonderful, exhausting problem to have - designated space to create my art and too many possibilities in the form of tools and supplies. Even if the space is currently as bland and sterile as my picture indicates. 

Right now, I'm going entirely on faith.

Faith that it will all fit.

Faith that I can make this work.  

Faith that I can transform my new space into a creative haven.  A colorful, bright, productive workspace. 

Because without faith, it's all too overwhelming.

So that's where my thoughts are regarding Sally's Focus on Life prompt for this week.  I'm looking forward to seeing everyone elses' interpretations.

Manic Monday Seven Days a Week

I'm behind the times again.  Seems like I'm in a constant rush to catch up, rushing through my days with the Bangle's Manic Monday as my soundtrack.  At the beginning of the month, my studio mate announced that she was breaking her half of the lease and moving her studio back home.  Which launched a frantic search on my part to find someone to take over the lease and find a new space I could afford on my own.  I found both, thank goodness.  But now I'm in the process of preparing to move.  I hate moving!

I've been in this space since 2008 and have accumulated way too many wonderful possibilities.  Too many to fit into my new, smaller space.  Seems like all I've been doing this month is sorting.  Some of it has truly been fun and I've rediscovered any number of forgotten treasures. 

But it's taking so long.  And I'm supposed to have it done by this afternoon because tomorrow Leah and I are hosting a Destash Sale, so others can add to their cache of possibilities while helping us pare what we have to move.  To top it off, my day job ramped into overdrive earlier this week as well.   

Every once in a while I think Leah has it easy - she's getting rid of most everything.  Acyrlics, lots of papers, watercolors, pastels, crayons, a flat file, stamping blocks and inks, even finished art work.  But no, I'm not ready or willing to divest myself of so many possiblities, so many dreams all in one fell swoop.  So I'll keep on sorting. 

Focus on Life (5/52) - Flower Socks

Way back when, when we were newly married, young and very poor, my husband surprised me with a pair of socks.  He explained he'd thought of buying me flowers.  But he knew how cold I'd been, trying to adjust to a Missouri winter.  So he splurged on a pair of fancy knitted wool socks instead. 

They became known as my 'Flower Socks' and every time I wore them we both smiled.  One of those lovely inside jokes. 

Fast forward to this week and Sally Russick's latest Focus on Life challenge: to find and photograph hearts in our every day lives.  Specifically, Capture our Hearts.

I immediately thought of those Flower Socks, still tucked away in the back of my drawer.  They've been joined by lots of other fun socks over the years: quirky socks, bright bold oh-my-gosh socks and of course, cuddly warm socks.

Like the pair above, a Christmas gift from Mom last year, photographed with my new (purple) boots.  I went shopping earlier this week hoping to replace my very-worn pair of black lace-up boots and brought these home instead.  A definite splurge since I still need new black boots.  But how could I resist!?  'I could always return them' I assured myself.  Which was a lie, because I knew when Joe saw them he'd smile and say I should definitely keep them. 

another Christmas gift - from two of my best friends - skulls & hearts, aargh!

And yes, my husband does on occasion bring home flowers (but never when they're expected, which is as it should be). 

Out with the Old Year, in with the New

Every year on the Solstice, I draw a tarot card from the major arcana to act as a meditation focus for the coming year.  No surprise, I then use the couple of weeks between the Solstice and New Year as a time of reflection, looking back, looking forwards.  What went well, what didn't. 

Last year's draw was the Magician.  He was a really fun one to work with - the alchemical/magical process of manifesting thoughts and dreams into reality.  The card became sort of my 'patron of the arts', encouraging me to go for it.  It's funny how little it can sometimes take to go from 'no way' to 'maybe I can'.

A lot has happened this last year.  I published my second book, Corsets, Caps and Stays: Elegant Beaded Beads with Right Angle Weave, taught two classes at Bead Fest Texas, participated in a number of great blog challenges and two Bead Soup parties, added a number of kits and patterns to my Etsy Store and continued to write and meet new people here on my blog and on my Facebook page. 

Also had a few set backs, including the news last month that none of my classes were accepted for Bead Fest 2013.  Not even my Fancy Fish.  That definitely hurt!  And due to some health issues, I missed a couple of proposal deadlines this fall.

Going into 2013, I have a number of UFOs; isn't that always the case?  Two in particular I plan/hope to finish in the next couple of months.  One is the collar I started using Kristi Bowman's copper focal for the clasp.  Below's a collage of my bead work in process and her lovely focal. 

UFO to be finished in 2013

What's my card for this year?  I drew The Fool - the first card in the major arcana.  My deck shows a scomorokh, a wandering clown of medieval Russia, walking blithely along the edge of the cliff, with a wolf/dog twining around his legs.  Common interpretations for the card include "innocence, new beginnings, blind faith, simplicity, folly and extravagance".  My hope is to tap into the 'beginners' mind set' without actually falling off any cliffs, literally or figuratively.  Wish me luck! 

I'm definitely looking at doing a few things differently.  Here on my blog, I hope to feature the works of other artists who are also working with freeform peyote. My goal starting out is to showcase two artists per month.  We'll see how that goes. 

I enjoyed my weekly series on the Elements of Design, but had a hard time keeping up with it on that regular a basis.  Expect to see periodic additional entries into that series.  I'd like to make it a regular feature, but am trying to figure out the frequency which will give me enough time to give each entry my best effort (I am not a fast blogger and they take a fair bit of work). 

I'm also thinking of a couple of different possibilities for online teaching - I'll be writing about that more in the next couple of weeks and hope to ask your opinions.  So there are some of my thoughts on the new year.  Now how about you?  What do you hope for 2013?

Oh, and in case you're wondering, my deck is an older version of the Russian Tarot of St. Petersburg.  It was a gift shortly after I returned from Russia and remains one of my treasures because all of the images are in the style of medieval Russian folk art.  They remind me of the designs on their beautiful lacquer boxes.  I mostly just look through and admire the pictures. 

Why Make This? Telling Your Story

Steph Cortes with her fantastic 'nerdy' crossstitch - Venn diagrams anyone?

Last week I attended a fantastic Etsy workshop with Steph Cortes of nerd JERK entitled "Balls Out Branding".  I'd dithered 'til the last moment, whether or not I'd sign up.  I am so glad I did.  It was a small workshop - just six of us, and Steph was a total riot.

I came away with two key points, presented in entirely new ways.  The first is the title of this post - "Why Make This?"  Steph pushed us to explore why, out of all the myriad things we could be doing, we are drawn to our particular art/craft forms.  And to tell the story of our work. 

Sounds so easy and in theory it can be so very hard.  Blogging's one thing - here it's really all about story.  But as soon as I head to my Etsy store to write listings, I start thinking about key words and how will people find me and what details about the product do they need to know.  All the dry, completely necessary, but often boring things.

It's easier in person, where you can sort of hash through ideas. I realized that conversation is in many ways like a first draft.  In most conversational instances, your words aren't expected to be picture perfect.  Instead, if you're like me, you sort of feel your way towards where you want to go.

So, Saturday morning found me sitting at the computer, looking at my Etsy listings and thinking about how I can add to them.  Except, great procrastinator that I am, I decided to go out hunting for other artists with story telling abilities and see how they did it.  A reconnaissance mission! 

I made a treasury to record my findings:

My very eclectic, story-telling treasury

As I searched and searched for stories, I became more and more open to what that could mean. 

With two of the items in my treasury, their photography tells the story. 

Emma Sommerfeld's collection of photographs for her Cherry Red Scarf is a study in simplicity and contrast.  Her model, a cross between Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood, wears a dark dress and stands in a winter forest.  All of the colors are shades of black, white or neutrals except for the scarf and the red lipstick. 

I absolutely cannot wear that color of red, yet she makes me want to buy this scarf because it's so beautiful and romantic.  Her shop's on vacation right now, but the links above should still work.

 On first glance, I thought that CamilleDesigns made crocheted doilies, reminding me of my grandmother Lela as she used doilies extensively in her decorating and I inherited many of them.  So of course I had to check it out. 

I discovered - she makes rugs!  Somehow I'd managed to miss the two bare feet at the bottom of the photo.   What a wonderfully clever way of showing the scale and immediately letting people know what they're looking at! 

Here, it was simply the title.  Where most of the listings from my search started with "Felted Slippers" or more detailed, "Felted Wool Slippers".  Here we have "like a sunrise on the ocean" - almost a little haiku.  Or the title of a painting.  I could wear a bit of vacation and art every single morning if I bought these!

Search engine optimization recommends including your search terms early, early in your listings.  But what if every once in a while I let poetry take precedence instead? 

With others, threads of story ran through multiple aspects of their Etsy presence.  Callie Mitchell's beaded bracelet tutorial, Garden Rows, is beautiful in it's own right.  The story of her inspiration for the piece made it even richer (told in one short paragraph). 

Her artist bio continued her story as well; far more engaging than a dry recitation of dates and awards.




Don't want to bore you, so just two more call outs.

Since she inspired this treasury, I wanted to include one of Steph's pieces and her comic, A Girl Can Dream, Right? was a perfect fit. 

I love how her listing starts with the story of the comic's origins, segues to the comic itself, then back to it's creation.  All in three short paragraphs.  Nice. 

I caught her at Geek Girl Con and made her sign a copy for me.  She even drew a little self-portrait!

And then the pièce de résistance.  If you only look at one listing, you have to check this one out simply because it's absolutely over the top.  Be sure to take a look at Jimmy McBride's artist profile - that's where it all comes together. 

His entire Etsy experience is internally consistent, even if it doesn't quite match the world as you and I know it. 






So, there were some of the examples I found.  Do you have any amazing examples of storytelling to share?  Ways of connecting the viewer to the artist or the art work?  I'd love to hear them!  :)

And like an extra scene after the credits at the movies, here's Steph's signature and self-portrait.  

Ignore the Woman Behind the Curtain

I've been hiding out the past few weeks.  I'm in the middle of several larger projects and there isn't much to see right now, because they're mostly text & illustrations and it feels repetitive to write about the same things over and over.  Yep, I'm still working on my fish patterns - think I finally have a handle on them. 

That's a really good excuse, especially because it's true, yet the real reason I haven't written recently is fear.  Sounds crazy?  It's true, sad as it may sound.

I've had a lot of success in my artistic career in the past six or so months.  My work took first at the Uptown Art Stroll, a local art festival, in their 3D category.  I was invited to speak at the NW Bead Society's annual bazaar and won the people's choice for the Bello Modo challenge.  I wrote a guest post for The Book Designer on my experiences self-publishing Freeform Peyote Beading, and Cyndi over at The Beading Arts just did an amazing artist profile of my work.  I'm delighted to be teaching at Fusion Beads  here in Seattle (one of the best bead store in the country in my humble opinion), and have received word that I'll be teaching two of my classes at a national conference later this year (more on that later).  So things are looking brighter and brighter.  It's been an incredible journey and I am incredibly, incredibly grateful for my good fortune.

More and more often, however, I'm having to use all of my strength not to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.  I have a terrible history of taking artistic u-turns right as things start going well.  Because a little voice inside me warns, "Just wait, sooner or later they're going to pull aside the curtain and see the woman pulling all the gears and levers and realize you're a great and shabby fraud".  This time around, I'm determined not to flee in panic, but it's hard.

I've tried ignoring this fear, shoving it under the rug and into the closet and just keep forging ahead, telling myself that it will get better if I keep on keeping on.  But it's insidious, and rears its head not as fear, but as fatigue, or artist block or ennui.  It dries up my words; more and more often over the past month and a half, I've sat down to write on my blog and the words wouldn't come; nothing was there that seemed worth putting to paper, or computer screen. 

So I decided to write a post about it.  Because I'm guessing I'm not the only one out here with issues revolving around success.  Especially when it's personal success.  My husband is extremely supportive, but I don't think he quite gets it.  As far as he's concerned, I rock (thank you Joe!).  Talking with my friends here locally, it seems to be something that plagues more of my female friends than the opposite sex.  Why?  That I haven't figured out.

I've decided I'll take a multi-step approach to diffusing my fears.  The first, I've been doing all along; I've continued working, even if it's just small things.  Haven't been writing about it, but I'm still stitching, drawing diagrams and mucking around with instructional text.  The second step is right here - sharing this with all of you.  The next step after that?  I'm working on that - we'll see what comes up. 

Actually, I think the next step is asking - have you experienced similar problems?  And how have you overcome or worked through them?  How do we learn to own our own successes?

Guest Post on The Book Designer

Joel Friedlander at The Book Designer, whom I met at Pitch 2.0 back in December, asked me to write about my experiences self-publishing a craft book through Createspace.  

He wanted to know why I decided to do it myself, the kinds of obstacles I encountered, and what role the book plays in my overall marketing of myself as an artist and artisan.  The first question I'd touched on before, but the last made me really think about both what I'd hoped to achieve when I wrote embarked upon the project and how that has changed in the year since its publication.

Thank you Joel for the opportunity, and for making me think through these questions.  Working on the answers helped me to focus on what I hope to achieve in 2012 as well. 

The post went live yesterday!  If you're interested, click here to check it out! 

Earrings from Freeform Peyote Beading - not part of this month's challenge

Saturday again, funny how that works...

It's Saturday again, and I'm sitting here trying to think of what exactly I've accomplished this week.  Despite running full tilt most of the week, I cannot honestly recall a single thing I've actually accomplished.  Which makes it really hard to write a blog post. 

Now I remember, it's been a maintenance sort of week, including rehanging the door to a refrigerator so it would seal correctly, adjusting a storm door's pistons, raking more leaves than one yard should truly have and replacing all of a toilet's inner parts (the toilet was clean; it just wouldn't stop running) amongst other things.  The last is something that I'm pretty sure you're never supposed to mention on a blog; toilets being about as non-sexy a subject as I think you can get.  But I have to say that I was as proud of that toilet when it actually flushed without leaking as any bead work I've completed in the past several years.

 I had my fair share of mishaps - including a column of water hitting the ceiling at one point.  Who knew toilets had so much water pressure?  The instructions told me to take off a valve cap, hold a cup over the top to prevent splashing and turn the water on to clear the pipe of debris.  I read it as 'set' a cup over the top, especially since I had to reach down and around to turn the shut-off valve.  As soon as I turned on the water said plastic cup shot to the ceiling.  Oops! 

Turn the water back off, fast while trying not to panic and trying to stem the column of water with my other hand.  Fast forward a little - the bathroom's mopped, I'm still soaked as are my instructions, but I've made it all the way to the last step.  I put the valve cap back in place and prepared to turn the water on, cringing.  Waters on.  Nothing happened.  Huh.  Good on the one hand; no new fountains or leaks is generally a good thing.  But bad because at this point, the tank was supposed to start filling.  Nope, no water.  Turn the water off, take the cap off, put it back on, turn the water on; still nothing.

Breaking down, I called the 1-800 number on the repair kit I purchased.  I ended up speaking to an amazingly personable tech who 1) was impressed that I'd read the instructions, 2) never talked down to me like I was an imbecile for not being able to figure it out myself, 3) provided the solution and 4) was willing to stay on the line until we'd flushed the toilet several times, insuring it actually worked. Kudos to Fluidmaster - you have great employees!  And I'm pleased to report that a day later, it still works! 

In other news, I finished out Nanowrimo at 56,077 words, but my poor characters are still languishing in the final two thirds of the book.  More early morning writing sessions for me.  Just got back from the TGIO (thank goodness its over) party down at the Seattle Center happy to know I'm not the only one still writing.  Though I've only written 1,000 words since November 30. 

And for those of you who have made it this far, I promise that my next blog post will actually be about beads, beaders and other bead related subjects.  Tomorrow is the NW Seedbeaders meeting and I've been tagged as responsible for photographing the challenge pieces and project ideas for next year.  So I'll have lots of fun stuff to share very shortly. 

And I still have several personal UFOs I need to finish before the new year as well.   So I promise, no more weirdness for a while (at least I sure hope so!)